| Andrew Solomon
New Yorker contributor Ever since I published a story in this magazine two years ago about the suicide of my son’s classmate Trevor Matthews, I have been overwhelmed with correspondence from parents and young people in desperate pain, including from families who have lost children to suicide. Those who are paralyzed by grief often do not have the wherewithal to articulate their agony, so my reporting frequently consists of telling stories on behalf of people who want them to be told. Social media is the focus of my new article, but my intent has been to understand the structures of grief and resilience. I hate walking into the houses of strangers and asking them to recount the most terrible thing that ever happened to them. It feels like a cruelty, even though it is a cruelty to which I have been invited. Losing a child to suicide confers an unwelcome identity, but like all unwelcome identities, it can be imbued with grace. There is no inherent worth in devastation, but meaning can be spun from any loss. The parents’ courageous determination to save other people’s children as solace for the loss of their own is generous. Amplifying these voices is a way of paying tribute to them. If you are having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 or chat at 988Lifeline.org. | 
